This post will be weird to any of those who dont know or understand certain types of people.
For as long as I can remember about my life, I have never felt like I belonged to any group, I had friends, but I couldnt really make a connection with them, even though the rest of our group were close to each other. I spaced out a lot, and living in reality never really appealed to me.
I liked to go on mini adventures into the woods around my home, and Staying in and playing make believe was much more interesting than playing outside with the other kids.
I was searching for a long time for something I could believe in, my mother was raised a christian and tried to make me believe that. But I didnt feel like it fit. And my father introduced me to atheism, which I followed a while because I was a smart ass pre teen and thought I was edgy for not believing in anything. But I knew that there was something out there. I was agnostic for a while, because I wasnt really sure what was out there. And then I was a wiccan, I felt like I was on the right tract, I read up on tarot cards, and crystals and magic powers.
and for a while, I really thought I saw ghosts. I was chased on the playground in 2nd grade by a demon. ( I should get checked for a mental disorder.)
my friends would make fun of me for being a wiccan, and kids in school picked on me for it too. So I felt ashamed and thought that maybe it wasnt a real religion. I was agnostic again for a very long time. I was then a muslim. I read the qu’ran. And was pretty happy and peaceful. But with the dangerous islamaphobia in this country, I felt like my life was in danger. I still respect the muslim religion, but no longer practice it.
I would have panic attacks as a child where I would repeat that ” i want to go home” over and over. even though I was in my house. My parents didnt know what to do.
As an adult ( about 21) I started practicing paganism again. And I started to get depressed if I wasnt in nature a lot. I still didnt know why I felt there was something missing in my life, so I started learning meditation, and deep breathing. I started being more interested in the stars and space, and all the galaxies, they were beautiful and I found myself overwhelmed with emotions when I looked at them. Like whatever had been missing, that what I had been searching my whole life for, was right there in the stars. That was home. I started watching more shows about aliens, and space and I now adore Neil Degrasse Tyson. Cosmos is a beautiful series. I heard someone talking about “starseeds” one time, and I looked it up. And the first thing that popped up was a website that described what a starseed was, and how to know if you were one.
And I know, anyone who believes in aliens, or reincarnation or anything that doesnt conform to what we as a society have been made to believe is weird, and not true and deserves ridicule. But this was something spiritual to me, reading about the starseeds, about where they come from. the markings they had on their bodies, some of the markings i have.
I found a community of other starseeds. and learned more about the different types. And I no longer feel alone.
I think, that there are many different belief systems on this planet. Most of them cause so much death, so much pain and misery. Hold people down in a mental and spiritual prison. And if you are lucky enough to find one of the beliefs that are full of love, and light, and peace. Then dont listen to what anyone says when they call you weird, or crazy, or wrong.
Because how could worshiping the earth, practicing love, and promoting the lifestyle of peace be wrong?
| — | Klaus Joehle |
If your belief feels right for you, if your belief and your gods/goddesses harm no one and nothing, then that is the right belief.
| — | Divine Keeylen |
My beliefs carry me through each day, they remind me to be strong. That I am a child of the universe, I am made of stardust and nothing can defeat my soul.
CiCi
Personal Ramblings 